Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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