Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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