i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
