I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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