help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
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He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
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It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
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I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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