it wasn't lemon gatorade
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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