It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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