Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
