Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
NoShamevember. You game?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
