how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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