Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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