Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
