I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Randomize
