I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
