And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
