Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Dear god my vagina.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
