i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
