Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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