you turned your livingroom into a bong?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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