how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
nutella sex= disaster
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
