I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I just want to make out with him forever
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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