you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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