So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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