Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
