my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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