Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
