We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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