Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
