he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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