i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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