dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
