your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
why do cheetos always look like penises
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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