They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
