last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
