Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
