I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
