Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize
