i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
