the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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