Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
