I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
