I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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