dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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