Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
