Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
