I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
another moral hangover. fuck.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
