five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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