i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
