You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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