We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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