The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
