if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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