dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
my god I love twenty year old dicks
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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