Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
