8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
