I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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