I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize