I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
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He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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