I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Semen is not good for contacts.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
