so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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